Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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