I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize