haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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