i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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