i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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