I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize