So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize