No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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