Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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