3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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