He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize