So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize