he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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