i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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