I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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