It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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