I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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