This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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