It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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