He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize