Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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