Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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