we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize