so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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