So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize