You can't motorboat a personality
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize