I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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