i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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