My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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