Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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