what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize