You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize