Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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