A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize