if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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