I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize