It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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