Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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