this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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