So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize