You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize