nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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