And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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