You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize