My cat gives me a boner
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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