i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My vagina is very pro this idea
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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