none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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