I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
even my farts smell like vagina
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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