Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
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So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize