just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize